And while I'm complaining about not getting invited to parties, I might as well admit that I don't deserve to be. I have no clue what the heck is going on these days. Sure, sure I have a blog (and really, let's be fair here, I have been blogging since 1995!!!), but I can't figure out how to send my flickr photos over to my blog, nor can I get photos from my camera phone to flickr or to the blog, and I can't figure out how to be confirmed by technorati, and I can't even add links to the side column! I am a LOSER. I'd love to have the time to figure all this out, and get a feed reader or whatever, but then I think about Elan and all I want to do is go home and snuggle her.
Well, apparently the launch parties have re-started, and hype has returned - see
http://gigaom.com/index2.php/archives/2004/02/08/the-return-of-hype/
(please tell me URLs work on this; otherwise I guess I'll eventually go back and edit!)
and now that I am not working as a writer anymore, I'm not there anymore! I am not sure what to feel about this. I guess I couldn't go to these parties anyway, as they conflict with essential seeing-Elan time.
Then again - I sure do miss the invites!
Signed,
San Jose working stiff by Day.
As it turns out, there is a reason that I have had stomach aches, headaches and exhaustion for the past 9 days or so (spiking really horribly over the weekend, yay): my very mellow, low key doctor diagnosed me this morning with having an irritated stomach lining. Apparently these stomach linings don't just heal themselves, as the more that you eat, the more acid there is, and then it never has a chance to heal, or something. So Dr. Scott (Stephanie Scott, LOVE HER) gave me a four weeks' worth of a drug called Protonix, which will heal my stomach lining.
I sure hope so! Saturday night it got so bad that I could barely stand it. I called a new service here in SF that supposedly provides doctors who come to your house, but the doctor told me that I was too upset and he refused to help me. (He charitably directed me to the emergency room, which is not really where the mother of a toddler wants to spend the wee hours of a Saturday night by herself.) What a nightmare. I was able to hold out by eating basically just bread and a little cheese on Sunday and made it to my real doctor (LOVE HER) this morning (happily she had an opening).
I'm really not used to being sick, and this was the first time since early 2001 that I even saw this doctor. I had only seen my OB-GYN (LOVE HER TOO!) and Elan's doctor(s) (LOVE THEM ALSO) and it barely occurred to me that doctors see patients for reasons that are not gynecological or pediatric in nature. Go figure!
So with a little luck this Protonix stuff will work, and I'll regain faith in the use of the medical profession for grown-ups who are not about to deliver a child.
I am happy to announce unofficially that last night at 11.57 PM, Baby Bossanova was born. WELCOME, ANNIKA! Can't wait to meet you!
Don't you LOVE babies?
All of my favorite NPR programs this morning were pre-empted so that they could broadcast the 911 hearings about homeland security. MAN was that boring. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH important to be secure; BLAH BLAH terrorists; BLAH BLAH I love to hear myself talk. It was worse than Forum, and usually Forum is my least favorite show of all.
It got me thinking: when are security measures ever really effective? When is it all not smoke and mirrors?
A couple examples, if I may. While Curtis, Elan and I were out of town, the roofers, bless their hearts, dropped a brick tile though Elan's bedroom window (I guess it bounced off a retaining wall, into the window). It smashed her window, and we returned to a fiesta of broken glass and tile all over Elan's crib and bedroom, including all over her sheets and changing area. NICE. Worst of all, our home alarm system was not triggered!! After numerous phone calls to ADT, who installed the $2000 alarm system we have protecting our house, and after declining their many attempts to send a service person over to test our system (at our expense of course), I finally learned that our ADT coverage included only "opening windows" not "breaking them." For that we needed "shattered glass coverage." PLEASE!! All you would-be burglars, we are getting that coverage, so don't even THINK about it! But what a SCAM!
Then, this morning when arriving at work, I slid my badge against the reader as usual, and it made the normal BING. But somehow when I walked through the metal detectors (or whatever the hell those things are that a person needs to walk thru when entering here), the alarm went off anyway. So I had to miss my elevator as I sat and ran my badge against the reader three more times until it worked. What are we being protected from? I mean I have a badge. Don't the security guys recognize me yet? I have worked at the company for three years for crying out loud.
Finally, I tried to log onto the corporate intranet to secure a computer and work station for my new hire. After numerous attempts, the system made it clear that my password does not give me access to the apparently super-secret secure site that must be accessed in order to set up a new employee with proper computer equipment, a cubicle and phone. I had to fill out a form to request IT support to help me. I'll probably hear back next week, and my new hire will be lucky if she gets a computer before the end of time.
I have an idea for the homeland security team: just speak with my employer!!
So much of my life is spent in the car. I drive 45 miles each way to work every business day (except Fridays, thank goodness, when I usually work from home). And given traffic patterns, no matter how much I try to avoid rush hour traffic, it rarely takes me less than an hour to get to work, and an hour and 15 minutes to get home. It is HELL.
I try to look on the bright side of this. I get to listen to a lot of NPR, and catch up on phone calls to old friends if I like (rarely happens). I am able to make some business calls on the road -- e.g. I did almost all of the screening phone interviews for the lawyer I just hired to work for me while driving to or from work (Note to self: fill out expense report for reimbursement of part of $500 cell phone bill the other month). When I am not doing business calls, I try to look at my commute as a vacation: after all, I'm not working, and I'm not doing childcare, so it must be vacation, right?
Not really.
Because of the hundreds, thousands of hours, I have spent on the roads over the past few years, I liked to think of myself as a commuting professional, and most other drivers on the road as amateurs. I laugh as I see the volvo convertible cut me off on 101 near 3Com Park (hey, it might be a convertible, buddy, but it's still a volvo!) and then watch him fall back miserably when he doesn't know the trick to moving over to the right lane at Millbrae (or even better, at the 92 interchange). Honestly, I could do a whole blog about driving up and down the 101. (I won't.)
Today something bad happened, though. And I can barely type about it. Too bad that no one reads this, because this would be a great opportunity for them to type a comment and tell me to feel better. After literally 21 years of driving, which has involved numerous braking for birds and other animals (even got in trouble and almost failed drivers' ed for doing this), I injured an animal today. Although I tried to steer around it, I accidentally hit a chipmunk on Orchard, off 101 in Santa Clara on the way to eBay Park North. I am horrified and now feel like I owe a karmic debt. But what can I do? One chipmunk in 21 years is a pretty good record, but still. I'm heartbroken. I'm a vegetarian! How could this happen? I'm beside myself.
Commuting just outright sucks. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, good about it.
Here are some recent posts I made to mailing lists. They seem to reflect my life:
*********
TUESDAY, JULY 6, 2004
Sorry for those who receive this multiple times. I am on a RAMPAGE!
Rebecca :)
Hi Group:
I just had a TERRIBLE experience with an organization called Bay Area 2nd Mom's. www.bayarea2ndmom.com . I was looking for an organization to sign up with to provide back-up child care for times when Elan (16 months) is ill and cannot go to daycare. Bay Area 2nd Mom had been recommended to me by a fellow working mother who uses the company in similar situations.
Here is what happened: After having taken literally 10 tries to get anyone there to call me back, I finally received paperwork from the company. That paperwork contains several documents requiring signatures, references and disclaimers of all liabililities (even indeminfications!) if anything goes wrong with the nannies they provide. That I can deal with (I'm good at crossing out and initialing) but what I couldn't take is a requirement that you PHOTOCOPY your CREDIT CARD, both front and back sides, along with a photocopy of your Driver's License and FAX TO THEM!
I told the folks at Bay Area 2nd Mom that it creates unbelievable opportunities for identity theft to photocopy credit cards and FAX to a company, espeically when doing so also with copies of DRIVERS LICENSES! I told them that for the amount I was signing up for ($250 signup fee, plus $6/hour if I ever use a back-up nanny) that requirement was silly. They told me that that was their requirement and they wouldn't change it to me. I asked to speak to a supervisor. About 20 minutes later, as I was about to step into a conference call, their CEO called me.
She went ON AND ON AND ON... I tried to explain to her about AVS systems, alternate security methods, verification options and security codes on the cards, and the fact that a photocopy of the card still won't lead the transactions to be coded by merchant banks and associations other than as card-not-present (you learn this kind of stuff when you work for a payments company ;) but she got really flustered and annoyed and clearly didn't know what I was talking about.
When I told her I needed to jump into a meeting, and just wanted to know whether she was going to waive the photocopy requirement, she got very huffy and insisted that I "listen to her point of view" and she wanted to "call me back to discuss this (presumably at length!) later." I said that I really didn't have time for her point of view, I just wanted yes or no, and really my afternoon was booked. She again got really mad at me and before she could yell at me, I hung up on her (to make it to my meeting!). Then the CEO called back to say that even if I wanted to use her service, she wouldn't let me because I was so rude. Clearly her job does not involve conference calls or needing to be any place at any time.
So anyway, I was shocked by the actions of this CEO. Not only does the company have a horrifyingly irresponsible policy of requiring faxes of credit cards, but their CEO seems to think that she has the right to impose on the time of potential customers.
So those who wanted another entertaining email from me, here it is!
We are using Town and Country instead.
Rebecca
**********
LATER ON TUESDAY, JULY 6, 2004
Dear PAMP:
On this upcoming Saturday my best friend from childhood is getting
married. I am her bridesmaid (would have been her maid of honor if her
sisters didn't force me out!). I am thrilled and excited to stand at
her wedding in a pink gown at age 36. We have reservations made to fly
to Maine on Thursday morning. My pink dress has already been fed ex'd
to our hotel.
This afternoon my daughter, age 16 months, was diagnosed with an ear
infection. We got her started on anti-biotics this evening, but we are
currently scheduled to fly out on Thursday morning and it is not clear
that she will be cleared up by then. Meanwhile, she has only a lowgrade
fever, and her doctor said she is fine to go to daycare, but just not
necessarily fine to fly. Under normal circumstances I would cancel or
reschedule our trip. In this situation, my best friend is getting
married, and I at least want to know what my options are. I'd like to
know what happens if a toddler flies with a mild ear infection. Can
anyone advise me?
I do know that some people would find me horrible for even considering
putting her on a plane if it is not cleared up entirely. But I can't
imagine going out there without her, even if it means going first and
having my husband follow with her a day or two later. I don't
understand what an ear infection does to an ear, and the nurses and
doctors all seem to say different things. I'd love to hear if any of you
have been through something like this before - I couldn't be the only
mother ever to struggle with a very highly anticipated planned trip
complicated by ear infections?
Thanks,
Rebecca
***********
JULY 19, 2004:
Dear PAMP:
Once again I must thank you for being such an outstanding resource.
About a week and a half ago I posted asking what to do with my 16
month old, who had just come down with an ear infection, and the
family was getting ready to fly to the east coast for my best
friend's wedding, and then a short visit of the mother-in-law in
manhattan. I felt bad because I felt so selfish for not wanting to
cancel this trip or go without Elan (daughter).
You responded with numerous thoughtful and caring emails, making me
feel like a decent person for valuing this wedding and this trip, and
giving me permission to explore whether we could in fact bring an ear-
infected-toddler on a plane. I so appreciated your thoughtful
comments, and kind remarks. They really helped. I also received
much advice, pretty much telling me that it could cause pain to fly
wiht an ear infection, but sometimes the antibiotics do work quickly.
No one asked for a summary, but people did afterwards ask me how it
all worked out, so thus I post now.
As it turned out, Elan's ear infection had miraculously greatly
improved in just a day and a half on anti-biotics, so her doctor
cleared her to fly (I actually brought her to the pediatrician
_twice_ on the day before we were scheduled to take off!) Although
Elan was still on anti-biotics, she was totally fine on the plane --
didn't cry at all during take off or landing (we had brought bottles
for her to drink during those times as well). She was a total
trouper and had a great time during the week. In particular she
loved dancing on the dance floor with the big kids at the wedding,
and running around the Metropolitan Museum of Art on a rainy day in
NYC.
I also wanted to make a quick note about the train: we did okay on
the train (due in part, again, to great train advice from this group)
but there was a family near us that put us completely to shame. They
were traveling with two daughters, a toddler and a kindergartner, and
they had the whole train thing down. As we boarded, they put the
toddler in the stroller, strolled her around for about 2 minutes
until she was asleep (!!!) then placed the stroller in the *one*
place on the whole train that has room for stroller parking, across
from their 4-seat-with-table area in the car one in front of the cafe
cart. Their toddler proceeded to sleep for 2 hours there. If I
could do it again, I too would try to tip the porter as much as they
did, to grab the stroller-parking spot and give Elan a proper nap.
As it turned out, without stoller parking or a car seat to be bucked
into, Elan didn't nap at all on the train, and arrived in NYC a bit
of a wreck. Anyway, just a FWIW about the Acela train.
Thanks again, PAMP!
Rebecca
While it is on my mind, here are some things I'd like to say to people applying for a job:
1. Send thank you notes - emails are fine, even preferred @ an Internet company.
2. Familiarize yourself with the product or service.
3. Put your phone number on all emails.
4. Don't leave town for any period of time (especially more than 3 weeks!) during the interview process without giving *a lot* of advance notice - at least as much notice as you will be away (so that, if the company is interested in you, they can bring you in for interviews before you leave town).
5. Research the person who is doing the hiring. E.g. if you went to Harvard, don't say "I went to law school in Boston" if you know that both you and the hiring manager (not to mention the hiring manager's boss and the parent company's biggest bosses) all went to Harvard.
6. Keep in touch by email during the process.
7. Remember the names/positions of those who interviewed you.
Things I'd like to say to co-workers who rely on my services:
1. People who thank me publicly find that I am happier to help them.
2. People who send emails to the whole company bragging about their accomplishments but fail to thank the people who helped them -- e.g. ME -- find that I am not as happy.
3. People who boss around others who are not their direct reports tend to make people unhappy.
4. "Please" and "thank you" go a long way!
Thank you and have a great day!