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I find that fundamentally, i am a shy person. I tend not to say that anymore; i just keep it to myself. (In the past, when i have claimed my shyness, people would just tend to laugh and laugh - claiming that in no way was i an introvert.) Sure, i can socialize when i need to; i can be polite, even charming as is required by my job, my friends, or the place and time i find myself. And if we're friends? No problems at all.
However, set me in a room full of people i don't know - a party, a bar, what have you. I'll be the kid sitting in the corner, maybe talking to the bartender, maybe reading a book i had tucked away, most likely sipping on my drink, quietly making up stories about people in my head. My brother got all the social skills in our family.... put *him* in a bar? Five minutes later, someone has bought him a drink. Everytime. I guess it's survival to a musician, no?
This weekend reminded me of all of these things; i met a few new people in the comfort of my living room, and i did ok. However, the woman who was outgoing, friendly, and good at drawing you into conversation was the one i wound up interacting with. (Actually, she reminded me very much of James, socially - maybe that had somethign to do with my immediate ease with her.) I went out to my first comic-convention ever, with izzy & jim (also masters of self-introduction). I quite enjoyed tagging along, meeting people as they introduced me. But when i wandered off on my own? Terribly shy about meeting people.
And then there's shy when starstruck - i met Michael Manning, who is a heck of a lot cuter than i thought. Charming, too. And turns out he lives in my 'hood. Actually, i felt pretty proud of myself here, because for the first time in the day, unaided, i stuck my hand out and said "You're Michael? I'm meriko - we *love* your work" and struck up a conversation. Big points for me!
Finally, there's the exception that proves the rule - for some reason, if you work in the food industry, i will likely befriend you. R. teases me about this all the time: "Did you come home from Victoria with all the waitron's phone numbers or email addresses??" It's odd; i find these conversations pretty comfortable and effortless, and i don't feel any of the nervey awful stomachey jittery feelings about striking up a conversation. Why? I have no idea.
Posted by meriko at February 11, 2002 05:37 PMMaybe your ease of befriending foodie folks is simply because it's an arena you feel pretty comfortable in yourself? It's like being a dog person and striking up conversations with other dog owners in a dog park. Like attracts like, and you already know at least one interest of that persons because you are meeting them in their element. BTW - when T . and I are going to visit a new restaurant in the hood, one of the first things we say to each other is "Maybe we should see if Meriko is free so she can introduce us to the owners?" It's a given to us that you'll already know them if they are located within a mile of our houses! You are the undisputed foodie networking queen!
I totally understand your statement about being shy too. I was an excruciatingly shy child, and I still get bashful when meeting new folk (especially a proper introduction was never done). Does anyone who knows me think I'm shy? Not especially. The discrepency still amuses me. I can't explain it.
Posted by: beca on February 12, 2002 09:05 AMI get it, too. I'm terribly horribly shy. Few people believe it. When I was in 2nd & 3rd grade my best friend was our librarian, Mrs. West -- she even let me check out extra books, since she knew I'd read many more than I was allowed to take out.
What makes people so scary? Where does shyness come from, do you think? I ponder that a lot, and tend to get different answers each time.
Posted by: heaven on February 13, 2002 08:45 PMBeca: It might be my comfort with the industry/topic; except with most things i know even a little about, i'm doubly or triply intimidated. My confidence doesn't carry over to meeting authors, and i'm a much better reader than cook. ;) When i meet people in the SW industry, i'm equally tongue-tied... so maybe there's just something *more* that i'm comfy with in the food industry? Maybe i should just chalk it up to the southerner and the italian in me - food's important, feeding people's important. Check out slow food; they're definitely folks who understand what's important to me about eating.
Heather: i'm not sure where it comes from - i know when i was a kid, i was painfully shy around kids, and comfy as heck around grown-ups. Now that i'm a grown-up, i find the situation reversed - great with kids, but awful with grownups. It doesn't follow the foodie/commonality reasoning, but that points to being non-shy around someone who ISN'T in my peer group. Odd.